Day 13 — I once got so drunk and lost control and this is what I was told I did and have no reason to doubt it…
I do drink, and have even been known to get drunk on occasion. I never forget what I do though, I’m more likely to fall asleep than drink enough to have memory loss. I have a couple of mild drinking stories but nothing major, the best one I can remember is when I wolfed down a cheeseburger someone smuggled into a bar for me.
I had been drinking steadily all afternoon and well into the night without any food so they had deemed some sustenance essential. This resulted in my needing to throw everything up about 10minutes later. I wobbled off to the bathroom and was about to bring everything up when I realised the toilet seat was disgusting but my balance was terrible – who holds onto that sort of thing? There was pee everywhere! So I started making toilet paper mittens, wrapping my hands around and around with loo paper, so that I could hang onto the seat without touching anything. To this day I still think that was a brilliant idea. I used about half a roll though, the mittens were enormous!
By the time I got up the next morning after being helped home (we lived within walking distance) I was well and truly sober and feeling fine-ish (a little groggy and thirsty!) because the alcohol was all in the toilet at some random bar far, far away rather than pumping through my system.
If you’re ever in the same position I would definitely recommend poo paper mittens! Although, if you would prefer to just have dinner instead of getting blind drunk over the day without noticing that might work too.