Category: Work

Day 4: How do I feel today

I’m totally going to fail my challenge this fine day, dear readers.

I can’t do this in one word because quite frankly, how do I feel today?

LIKE A BOSS!

Nailed some really difficult stuff today and I’m ecstatic! So confident, in fact, that I even thought I’d try my hand at a wee sketch for you all:

Yes, that’s right – I always have several pens in my lab coat pocket, and I currently feel like the Lab Queen!

Of course, tomorrow I’ll probably fuck up but hey – they can’t take that away from me right now, heheheheheheheheheĀ  šŸ™‚

 

Lost and found

So, we found a wallet at work today. Dropped under the seat in the waiting room by an elderly patient.

I suggested we open the wallet, check the driver’s id and cross-reference it to the patient list so we could ring the person.

I was accused of:

  1. Being nosy.
  2. Invading people’s privacy.
  3. Being rude.
  4. Being “young”.
  5. Being too impulsive.

Are you serious? I mean, what the heck?

What are you supposed to do?????? (Angry question marks!) Have I been breaking some major wallet etiquette all my adult life? Can you imagine losing your wallet and never finding it because some total numpty refused to open it in order to protect your “privacy”.

I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE. FUCK THAT NOISE GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW.

The ludicrous thing was that I was the only person in a room of 5 that thought this was odd. Then they spent 30 minutes alternating between berating me and condescending to me.

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, that the roof did not lift clean off with the force of my eye rolls.

 

 

A bag of cement

I work in a hospital and deal with post-operative cardiac patients on a regular basis. I had the pleasure (for blogfodder)/ shock/ misfortune/ horror of seeing someone readmitted today two weeks after his original surgery.

I’ll just lay out some background for you:

  1. The sternum is broken and opened for access during cardiac surgery. THIS WAS NOT A KEYHOLE OPERATION.
  2. The sternum is wired shut and the skin sewn up when they’re done.
  3. Patients are advised not to lift any more than 2 kilos for 6 weeks.
  4. They are advised not to drive because of the chance of hurting themselves and their wound for a minimum of 4 weeks.

This genius of a man came back in for a sternal rewiring because at two weeks post-op, so only about 1 week after leaving hospital, he picked up a bag of cement.ImageThe internet reliably (ha!) informs me that the weight of the cement bag was not 2kg. Maybe more like 25kg.

Poor health choices, man whose chest ripped open, poor health choices.

The ultimatum

He told me if I wasn’t ready by 6:55 this morning he would leave me behind to take the train. So I raced through everything, slammed the door behind me and was in the car starting it by 6:50, backing angrily out of the driveway while he rushed to keep up.

He said I totally would have said the same thing.

He’s right.

I ended up leaving my phone at home.

That’s what I get for being an asshole.

The art of procrastination

When you have so much to do that you can barely see straight, when you wake up at 4:30am and lie there, thinking about the future of your degree and your part-time job these are the logical steps to take when you’re up and about working during the day:

  1. Fluff about on the internet. Reload pages to read new comments that are meaningless. Make sure you read things that really piss you off just to ensure it’s time well spent getting your stress levels up. Cortisol! It’s fun!
  2. Make your third cup of tea before 8am.
  3. Refill your water bottle and drink half of it before 8:30am.
  4. Go to the toilet 5 times before 9am. Just as you’re settling down to work, realise you need the loo for the sixth time.
  5. Decide breakfast wasn’t enough and wander off, slightly aimlessly, in search of sustenance.
  6. Check WordPress Topics.
  7. Read the blogs you follow.
  8. Check your own blog just in case people are suddenly miraculously following you.
  9. Open a file to make sure you can spontaneously start working should the urge hit.
  10. Decide you’re STILL hungry and go out for lunch.
  11. Return! Revitalised!
  12. Start a blog post about procrastination…
  13. Lather, rinse, repeat.

One day I’ll break the cycle – just not today.